If you need help, please call our 24-hour hotline at 918.214.8886.
Ray of Hope Advocacy Center is an Oklahoma Attorney General certified program, offering comprehensive intervention and prevention services to men, women, and children affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking in Washington, Nowata, and portions of Osage County.
If you are in immediate danger or in a life-threatening situation, please call 911.
- Domestic violence (Services for victims and children)
- Sexual assault (Services for victims)
- Stalking (Services for victims)
- Teen dating violence
- Protective orders
- Safety planning
- Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Medical Exams (in partnership with SAFE-NOW)
- Advocacy for sexual assault exams
- Court advocacy
- Healthy relationships
- Education for pre-teens, teens, and adults
- Client Surveys
Types of Abuse
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner in an intimate relationship. Every relationship is different, but if you see any of these early warning signs, you may be a risk for domestic violence.
Some common early warning signs might include:
- Extreme jealousy
- Isolates you from friends/ family
- Controlling behavior
- Push for quick involvement
- Unpredictable mood swings
- Alcohol and drug use
- Explosive anger
- Uses force during an argument
- Believes in rigid sex roles
- Blames others for problems or feelings
- Cruelty to animals or children
- Verbally abusive
- Abused former partners
- Threatens violence
- Pulls your hair, punches, slaps, kicks, or bites you.
- Prevents you from eating or sleeping or accessing medical care.
- Uses weapons against you or threatens you with a weapon.
- Harms or threatens your children or pets.
- Restricts you from leaving the house or seeing family or friends.
- Forces you to use drugs or alcohol.
Emotional and Verbal Abuse
- Calls you names, insults you, or constantly criticizes you.
- Acts jealous, possessive, or refuses to trust you.
- Isolates you from seeing family or friends.
- Monitors your activities with or without your knowledge, including monitoring your online activities.
- Attempts to control what your look like or what you wear.
- Blaming you for their abusive behavior.
- Accusing you of cheating, or cheating themselves and blaming you for their actions.
- Gaslighting you by pretending not to understand you or refusing to listen to you; questioning your recollection of events or facts; trivializing your needs or feelings, or denying previous statements or promises.
Sexual Abuse or Sexual Coercion
- Force or manipulate you into having sex or performing sexual acts.
- Choking you or retraining you during sex without your consent.
- Involves other people in your sexual activities against your will.
- Intentionally gives you or attempts to give you a sexually transmitted infection.
- Forces you to watch or make pornography.
- Refusing to use a condom or other types of birth control.
- Keeping you pregnant or getting you pregnant again shortly after you have a child.
- Intentionally becoming pregnant against your wishes.
- Providing an allowance and closely watching how the money is spent.
- Depositing your paycheck into an account that you do not have access to.
- Stealing money from you, your family, or your friends.
- Maxing out your credit cards without your permission, taking out credit cards in your name, or otherwise harming your credit score.
- Using social media to track your activities.
- Controlling who you follow or who you are friends with on social media.
- Stealing or forcing you to share your account passwords.
- Using technology to monitor your activities or your location.
Learn more at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
January: National Stalking and Human Trafficking Awareness Months
February: National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month
April: National Sexual Assault Awareness Month; Child Abuse Awareness Month
October: National Domestic Violence Awareness Month
All persons have the right to live without fear, abuse, oppression, violence, and child abuse. There should be equality in relationships and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking should be helped to assume power over their own lives. Survivors should be treated with dignity and respect; all people involved in violent crimes are affected – victims, children, families, partners, friends, the community, and perpetrators. Offending is a choice, and perpetrators of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking are solely responsible for their behavior, and they should be held accountable for their behavior. Coordinated community response is the best approach to eliminating domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking in Oklahoma; intervention and services shall be based upon the safety and well-being of individuals and communities. Services shall be provided in a non-judgmental, voluntary, non-coercive manner and take place in a safe, trauma-informed environment. Services should encourage self-determination, autonomy, physical and emotional safety, and provide information that will enable independence. Services shall respect cultural diversity by recognizing the spectrum of differences that exists among groups of people with definable and unique cultural backgrounds. Services shall be delivered from an approach that recognizes the impact of trauma and acknowledges the role of trauma in the lives of victims/survivors and their dependents.